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daor_yebba
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Name: Ryan
Location: Illinois, United States
Birthday: 8/22/1982
Gender: Male
Interests: listening to music (the Beatles are my favorite), learning to play the guitar, reading, scuba diving, a Taoist approach to Christianity, talking and spending time with my girlfriend, eating, attempting to work out, pledging a fraternity, enjoying Illinois sports
Occupation: Student
Industry: Engineering
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
3/20/2001
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Missing Out
It has always been a principle of mine not to judge a person by what other people say about them. That is to say, I do not trust the opinions of most people, when it concerns the character of another person. I believe that the world misses out on a lot of great and very interesting people when such a thing is done.
It has been my experience that this is true. Through the past couple of years, people have the tendency to see me as a bit nerdy. They consider me to be smart, and they see that I am quiet most of the time, choosing only to socialize with a small group of close friends. Although some things have changed from my transition from high school to college, for the most part, the two characteristics (smart and shy) are true about me.
Study, study, study. Apparently that is all that I do, at least that is what I should be doing. I have been told that those who do not know me think I spend hours upon hours working on homework and studying for exams. Throughout high school, the very opposite was true. I did occasionally study, if I either was desperate for something to do or if I was having a really hard time with a certain subject, which did not come often. I can remember coming to school in the morning, and one of my good friends will ask me "So, how much did you study for the math test today?" My reply: "We have a math test today?" Some would think that this lack of preparation would hurt me, but it usually never did. Most of the time I would end up with a higher grade than someone who actually did study for hours upon hours would.
I am not trying to brag about the idea that I rarely needed to study to get good grades in high school, mainly because I felt that high school was a joke. College has proven to be a much different playing field. I now need to study just to get B’s, instead of the A’s I was once receiving, although I have commonly found myself to give the same "What test?" reply, only to receive a better grade than the ones that did study.
I still wonder, though, why many people just assume that because I have earned good grades in the past, and earn fairly decent grades now, that I must continuously study all night on only one subject. I know many other people who earn the same level of grades that I do, and people do not automatically think that they study all day and night, when, in fact, they must study more than I. Of course, these people were also star athletes, in more than one sport, while I merely played football (which more or less means that I was watching from the sidelines). But, in my opinion, the main reason I was stereotyped as a nerd or a dork was not because I was not the superstar of every sports team, but because I was quiet.
I am not exactly sure when it started or what it is this way, but as long as I can remember, I have always been somewhat of a quiet person, especially in big groups. I have a very small, select group of people that I open up to, and feel comfortable around enough to be myself. It is not so much that I am picky about my close friends, but I generally choose who I will consider a close friend on how well I know that person, which is usually based on a one-on-one experience with that person. But even if I am with my close friends, I still tend to be quiet in a large group. It is only when I am in the situation of either a one on one with someone, or a small group of three or maybe four other people that I feel comfortable enough to open. It is almost like I am running in a circle, though. When in a large group of people, I tend to be quiet, which tends to push people away, which gets me no where in my quest to meet people.
Most of the people that I know and meet are not often in this small group of my closest friends. Therefore, most of the people do not know the real me, and see only the shy, quiet, smart me. Because of this, a lot of people just assume that I am boring, and we all know what happens when you assume. For most people, adding smart and shy will equal boring. It does not bother me that people think I am boring, and that I have nothing of interest to talk about, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It does, however, bother me that these same people will not give me a chance to show them that I may not be as boring as they had originally thought, because of the stereotype that I fill.
Contrary to popular belief, I do have a life, and I think there are certain things that I care about that people would find interesting. Music has always been very important to me. I love music, both playing and listening. One of the few things that I regret is not having enough time to continue with piano lessons and trumpet lessons, although I have just recently begun to pick up the guitar and teach myself how to play it. It is kind of a secret dream of mine to one day be able to write music, maybe even play in a band. I will listen to oldies, rap, rock, alternative, blues, jazz, classical, and just about anything else, with the exception of country. I also have a love of sports, baseball, basketball, and football being my favorites. I like to read a large variety of books. I consider myself to be religious in my own ways, being a Taoist Christian. It has been a favorite conversation topic of mine to discuss religion and the things that surround it. I scuba dive, and plan on sky diving someday. I think that I have a fairly interesting life, even if the rest of the world will disagree.
I consider it one of my best traits that I am open to new things, and to meeting new people. If I were open to new things, I would have never begun to play the guitar, or would have started scuba diving. I would have missed out on some great experiences. The same is true for people. If I would have been open to meeting new people, I would have missed out on the experiences that I share with them, many of which I cherish to this day. Who am I to judge someone because of what this person told me, or because of how they seem on the outside? So I believe that every person should be given a chance, no matter how shy or quiet or smart or stupid or loud or outgoing that person appears to be. You never know what that person is truly like until you get to know that him or her. I think it is sad that certain people, including myself, are not given a proper chance. There are many people who could be missing out on many great things.
I do realize that it is not entirely the world’s fault that only a small number of people know me and are close to me. It is partially my own, for being quiet and shy and letting only a few people get close to me. And, although my shyness can be avoided by letting myself be more outgoing, this does not diminish the fact that there are people who are stereotyped everyday for factors they cannot change. If only the world could see past these things, whether they be skin color, gender, religion, etc., life these days could be infinitely better.
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